22 de nov de 2008

Which one is better: choosing or being chosen?

If you stop by the office I work at you will see that my computer's desktop background has the following picture:

I firmly believe that we're influenced by the people we are close to. Proverbs 13:20 says: "He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm."

I've always been very picky when it comes to friends. And by friends I mean people I can really be open with, share my deepest dreams and fears, cry and rejoice with, care and be cared for, my close friends: the good and best friends.

I usually prefer to choose my friends. As I become part of a group of people I will spend some time just watching and looking for some specif characteristics on people that will make me want to be with them and become more like them. Yes, I like to surround myself with people who have qualities that I admire and that I want to acquire. It rhymed!

About 8 years ago I was starting High School, and there was this girl I spotted on the first day: Denize. I had seem her before in my keyboard class but we were in and out of the class and did not talk much. But when I saw her at school I knew we would be great friends. If you ask her she will tell you that she also remembered me from the keyboard class, but she thought I was snobbish so she didn't want to be friends with me. But I insisted. I would say hi to her with a big smile everyday until she finally gave in and allowed me to get close to her. I was right, we became the best of friends for the next four years of High School. (photo: Michelle, Gisele, Denize and me in our last year together).

Denize was so simple yet so complicated. She was pretty, fun, with a witty personality, authentic, kind of careless, reserved and synical at times. We were great together! Our school work would always get complements. Just as me, she took school very seriously and strive to be the best student she could be, and I could say that she had this mind set when I first met her. She was dedicated, creative and very meticulous in her work. And I loved it! We were studying to be teachers, so we had to do drawings, children activities, games, write class plans and reports...I remember a book we wrote and draw together that got so many complements that the teacher wanted to get it published. It was the cutest little children's book ever!

Maise, Débora, Denize, Sahar, Evelyn...these are friends I chose, friends that I initiated the friendship, I made the first move, I saw something special in them that made me want to be closer. I was the one calling, insisting to spend time with them. It was hard at first but after a while it was full of joy! And with all of them I was right about how special our friendship would be! These girls became a piece of me, I enjoyed every moment we had together. I was a better Giselle when with them. I learned with them. My admiration for them made me get a piece of them for myself: wheter it was the way one would eat healthy, or the way the other would seat, or fix her hair, or talk to people... The memories I have of them are the dearest ones! I do not regret any of the time, effort and purposely care I gave them to win their friendship. They are very special girls that I will always admire and carry them im my heart.

But I was also chosen as a friend. Karina, Raquel, Cal, Two...these are friends who chose me. They were the ones who initiated the friendship, who insisted in spending time with me, who wanted to be closer. These were girls that became true companions as I learned to admire them. They would make me feel so important and loved. And they valued our friendship so very much. They were the ones I was the most spontaneous and authentic with. They knew me so well that it would make me feel naked sometimes. They would guess what I was about to say or do. It was awesome!

I remember when I started getting to know Cal (the one by my side in the photo) and she promptly invited me over to her house. We would go to church together and we had the greatest conversations about guys and books and our relationship with God. I remember a sweatshirt I borrowed from her, it was blue with a little bunny from Looney Tunes close to the zipper. I loved that sweatshirt! I kept it for as long as I could. She didn't mind...rs. One time I needed to borrow something but she was not home, so she tells me to go to her house and get the hidden spare key to go inside and get what I needed. I thought that was awesome!!! I felt so special for going inside her house, when nobody was there, with the hidden spare key. Her house was just so familiar to me. I would open the refrigerator and feel totally comfortable to get whatever I wanted without even asking her.

But when it comes to friendship which one is better: choosing or being chosen?

TO BE CONTINUED....gotta go!

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