11 de jun de 2009

A true gentleman is...

Before blogging this I kept trying to think of someone that I personally know who is a gentleman but no one came to my mind. Only movie or book characters or my fiancé! :)

To define a gentleman, I submit this quote, my standard in RPGs for the better part of two years now: "It is almost a definition of a gentleman to say he is one who never inflicts pain. This description is both refined and, as far as it goes, accurate. He is mainly occupied in merely removing the obstacles which hinder the free and unembarrassed action of those about him; and he concurs with their movements rather than takes the initiative himself. His benefits may be considered as parallel to what are called comforts or conveniences in arrangements of a personal nature: like an easy chair or a good fire, which do their part in dispelling cold and fatigue, though nature provides both means of rest and animal heat without them. The true gentleman in like manner carefully avoids whatever may cause ajar or a jolt in the minds of those with whom he is cast; -- all clashing of opinion, or collision of feeling, all restraint, or suspicion, or gloom, or resentment; his great concern being to make every one at their case and at home. He has his eyes on all his company; he is tender towards the bashful, gentle towards the distant, and merciful towards the absurd; he can recollect to whom he is speaking; he guards against unseasonable allusions, or topics which may irritate; he is seldom prominent in conversation, and never wearisome. He makes light of favours while he does them, and seems to be receiving when he is conferring. He never speaks of himself except when compelled, never defends himself by a mere retort, he has no ears for slander or gossip, is scrupulous in imputing motives to those who interfere with him, and interprets everything for the best. He is never mean or little in his disputes, never takes unfair advantage, never mistakes personalities or sharp sayings for arguments, or insinuates evil which he dare not say out. From a long-sighted prudence, he observes the maxim of the ancient sage, that we should ever conduct ourselves towards our enemy as if he were one day to be our friend. He has too much good sense to be affronted at insults, he is too well employed to remember injuries, and too indolent to bear malice. He is patient, forbearing, and resigned, on philosophical principles; he submits to pain, because it is inevitable, to bereavement, because it is irreparable, and to death, because it is his destiny. If he engages in controversy of any kind, his disciplined intellect preserves him from the blunder. [From The Idea of a University, 1852]"

Sometimes, I wonder if the guys have it harder than the women. Lads, you have to be the perfect knight in shining armour. But take the advice I gave the women-this is the ideal. Strive for it, but do not berate yourself if you have failed in the past, or fail in the future.

A true lady is...

I want to be a true lady. Even if it takes me years to develop some characteristics. The first step towards becoming a true lady is knowing what it takes to be a lady. So, I did some research and here it is what I found:

A lady is sweet, even-tempered and kind, never shying away from her Christian duty to any in need. A lady is always properly and nicely dressed, be she tending the sick, having tea or attending the ballet. A lady never raises her voice, for a show of temper is unsightly in a woman. A lady is meek and humble, never seeking to raise herself with words, but always to extol others’ virtues and accomplishments. A lady never knows more than a gentleman on any given subject, and if she does, she is obliged to hold her tongue. A lady never fails to be polite to anyone, be he or she queen or a beggar, a widow or a child. A lady offers everything of herself and her home to any who asks it of her. A lady never seeks the company of a gentleman, and is never alone with a gentleman who is not her relation, husband or fiancé. A lady seeks to give pleasure to those around her, through her words and deeds. A lady never runs, never exerts herself. A lady is generous yet economical. A lady knows when to speak, to add to the conversation with her gentle views, and she knows when to be silent, for men always know the world far better than a woman. A lady is a teacher and a student, imparting lessons of virtue to her children, yet learning obedience and honesty from God. She is always virtuous, always temperate, never rude nor angry. A lady is the morality of the world.
I know all of you playing a Victorian woman are about to hang up your bonnets. It seems impossible, to be perfect. And if you’re all ready playing, you know you’ve forgotten to do some of that. To be quite honest, that is the idea. The lady was a model, like the Virgin Mary, an impossible standard to emulate.