19 de fev de 2007

If I could...

If I could I would leave everything and go out to Africa or Greece as a missionary. If I could I would get into a Bible School or University and spend my days learning about God, talking about Him, knowing His heart, listening to His voice...If I could I would be braver, more audacious, and talk to people about Salvation through Jesus whenever I can.

I feel so little. So insignificant. So sinful. I know God used people who were mere sinners, common human beings to do extraordinary things. I know I will never ever actually feel capable or worthy to do anything that big, but God can certainly use me. But how? It seems to me that the only way I could do things for God would be to stop working, stop focusing in the things of this world and focus on the things that are eternal, right? I mean, I rush so much every morning to go to work that I almost don't have time to read the Bible and pray. I'm so worried about bills, and health, and school, and trying to figure if it's really worthy staying here without my family or not...I keep on trying to fight against bad habits and thoughts and attitudes that I know are not pleasing God. I keep on trying to tell God how important it is that He gives me a husband just as I've always dreamed. I've been failing so much as a friend to people. I got so hurt that I just can't do it. I need some healing.

If I could I would have made different choices. If I could I would have amnesia, just so I would forget everything that I did wrongly. God's grace is amazing. I know He forgives me. But I can't forgive myself. Why did I ever let sin get into my life? How could I not win over temptation? I always step over my own values and beliefs. I can't stand up for who I am and what I believe. I want to shout NO to sin, but I don't. I've taught kids about God's power, God's love, God's will. But who am I to teach if I can't apply it to my own life?

What difference can I make in this world if I feel drowned into my mistakes. It's like a burden so heavy to carry. I feel like Christian, in that book "The Pilgrim's Progress", walking towards the Narrow Gate carrying that huge burden in his back.

4 comentários:

  1. Hi,

    I'm Chad and I have struggled with the whole forgiving myself as well. I have had thoughts and habits that I know are sins, but yet somehow they overcome me. However, I have found a website that is pointing me to God. It has been very helpful.

    The website is


    It is free to join and has many deep insights into how to please God.

    God is mighty and we are sinners even as children. It seems that we don't have to teach children to lie, they learn to do that themselves. So we all have fallen, but that's what's so great about Jesus Christ and his sacrifice, we didn't deserve it. Yes if you truly believe in Christ you are forgiven. By his grace we have been justified, but sactification will take the rest of our lives, not meaning that we will be a slave to our desires all our lives, but that once we let God conquor one area of our life, there will be the other areas that we will discover we have not given him. I hope this is a light and hope to you. God Bless.


  2. Giselle,

    I'm new to the whole blog thing (lol). So you may have got this message twice, but here is what I responded to your comments at my site:

    "Thank you Giselle for the comments. I am actually familiar with Eric and Leslie Ludy's writings (It sounds like they would be the author of "When God writes your love history"). I've read their books "When God writes your love story," "When dreams come true," and most of "God's Gift To Women." I've learned a lot from their books and they give me hope that dreams do come true, we just have to be willing to trust the Great Author, God himself. I hope God does great things in your life. God Bless!"


  3. Probably this is not the first time that you felt this way. It means that every day is time to restart. The bible says that the mercy of God is new each morning.
    If your heart condemns you, God is bigger than your heart. Many other guys and girls, right now are thinking; My God, what have I done again?! I had promised that it never would repeat again! But when we look behind in the history, and see God's patience with the nation of Israel, we see that John 3:16 , is not a joke or a result of a good night that God have slept. It is a result of an eternal love. So, we have to believe that the hard work was already done , and we are free, and believe it till the end. We will be pilgrims till we find our real land, when Jesus will return to lead us to our home. Because , the sin is a state of sickness, not a natural state, when we make the words of Jesus be alive in our lives. Maybe now, Jesus asks us:" What do you want me to do?" and not "What have you done?!"

  4. Rafaella Reisagosto 25, 2007


    Se te aproximares mais de Deus, se buscares a face do Senhor e permitires que o Espírito de Deus seja verdadeiramente o teu guia, não mais irás te sentir sem forças contra o pecado. Porque maior é o que está em ti do que o que está no mundo.

    Tens de levar o chamado de Deus na tua vida 100% a sério. O Senhor tem te incomodado com isso. Vive uma vida de santidade, busca o Senhor e seja completamente sincera com Ele. Ele te abençoará, e tudo aquilo que Ele te prometeu Ele irá cumprir.

    Jesus já fez a obra e te salvou, e te perdoa sempre que peques e te arrependes, mas se deixares o pecado tomar conta da tua vida Ele não poderá te abençoar, não poderá fazer de ti um instrumento para a obra Dele. Afinal, bem sabes que Ele é santo e assim fica bloqueado de te ajudar porque o pecado está entre vcs.

    Enfim, senti de Deus dizer te isso. Ele é o caminho a verdade e a vida. Por isso não inventes outro caminho e não procures outras verdades, a solução está Nele. Ele é fiel a sua palavra.

    Jesus te ama como és. E não há nada que possas fazer ou deixar de fazer que vá diminuir o amor Dele por ti.


    Lisboa, Portugal

    PS: Se quiseres falar mais cmg meu email é rafaellaribeiroreis@msn.com